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REVIEW: Neighbors (2014) – The Day Nobody Laughed - ManlyMovie

REVIEW: Neighbors (2014) – The Day Nobody Laughed

Runtime: 90 Mins
Rated: R
What To Expect: Dick jokes, fart jokes… uh, dick jokes?

Who wrote this garbage?  Because whoever you are, sir, you might want to think about finding another line of work.  This is so many light years behind warring neighbor movies that are actually funny, like The Burbs (1989), its jokes are so fucking shit and labored, that you gotta wonder how talentless people get talentless shit greenlit for a movie.  A lot of fuss has been made over the fact the this movie is Rated-R, but don’t buy into that.  The only reason it’s Rated-R is because whoever wrote it reverts to one dick joke for every overwrought ten minutes of failed humor in an attempt to shock us into laughing.  Add to that a cast of annoying pricks, both antagonist and protagonist, trying too hard?  The end result – waste of money.

In 90 minutes from me this movie elicited not one laugh, not one smile, and the longer it went on, the more I resented it.  That’s the thing with comedies, you gotta get at least one good laugh in early.  Sort of like a statement of intent.  10 minutes, 20 minutes, right up to the credits… nothing.  Instead, the movie tries to substitute actual comedy with yelling and bro-fisting.  In the movie, a young couple and their baby daughter move into an idyllic neighbourhood, the premise being that this will ultimately be soiled by rowdy cretins moving in next door.  But actually you don’t have to wait for the cretins to arrive – the couple themselves are the first annoying fucks on the screen.  Screaming obnoxious toilet humor from both of ’em, without the actual humor.

So by the time the antagonists arrive, we’ve already had enough of the protagonists.  Their roles and performances totally reek of effort and that’s a bad thing in comedy.  It’s not like 21 Jump Street, where the two leads were boisterous yet naturally funny.  These two are boisterous and trying too hard, probably because they know the movie sucks.

In a good warring neighbours movie there has to be inventive feuding.  Attacks, counter attacks and one upmanship.  In this movie, Seth Rogan talks (screams) about his dick.  Then his neighbours spin their own dick jokes and scream about their pubic hairs.  How the fuck is this funny?  That not witty enough?  How about fart jokes?  An infant handling a condom gag?  No?  It’s not that I’m shitting on it for being offensive, I’m shitting on it for being shit.  That’s where your R-Rating comes in by the way, for once that rating gets abused as a gimmick rather than PG-13.  90 long minutes of really desperate toilet humor.

Even savvy 13 year olds, the apparent target audience, should probably turn their nose up at this.  It’s just not funny.

8 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    May 15, 2014 at 8:58 am

    I’m confused again… Site so manly, that people there were shitting on Sly’s performance in Grudge Match, is posting a review for Zac Efron’s comedy… WTF? Seriously guys? Or is Seth Rogen a manly man? I really don’t know, so if anybody can explain, I’d be grateful. Or is it just because R rating?

    • The Knight Rider

      May 15, 2014 at 9:19 am

      A rite of passage is for a man to buy his own house and secure his own family and shelter them from any type of shit. This is a movie about doing just that. I urge you to take a look again at the URL of this site. It’s not a circle jerk zone for everything Sylvester Stallone has ever done.

    • Anonymous

      May 15, 2014 at 12:22 pm

      You’re kind of reaching there man. A blog called manlymovie.net has no business reviewing movies like this.

    • Anonymous

      May 15, 2014 at 2:30 pm

      Hilarious answer, Mr. Knight, hilarious indeed… With this logic, you can review almost every movie. This kind of cryptic-wanna-sound-wise shit can be grafted on lot of them:)) Actually I wouldn’t have problem with this review, I wouldn’t read it and everything will be fine. But try to look back at some manly macho articles and reviews and statements here… This movie on this site looks totally silly. What will be next? Some retro? High school musical 3? Because a rite of passage is for a man to survive his last high school year and be able to find his place in life, etc etc etc…?:))

  2. Anonymous

    May 15, 2014 at 1:57 pm

    There are only two funny scenes in the movie. The one with the Batman exchange and the garfield/lasagne thing. But overall it was a poor R-rated feud movie. But it did do big box office

  3. Cyrus

    May 15, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    Seth Rogen is a disgusting fatbody. Being married to that Byrne chick… horrible casting.

  4. Unknown

    May 17, 2014 at 3:16 pm

    The movie sucked. Don’t recommend it. Didn’t even stay for the whole thing. So disappointed.

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