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REVIEW: Tremors 5: Bloodline (2015) - ManlyMovie

REVIEW: Tremors 5: Bloodline (2015)

tremors5I don’t really recall anything beyond Tremors apart from not making it through a sequel featuring Fred Ward.  It may have been the second, but who knows.  Obviously there were three other sequels besides this one.  Beware though, because while I can’t really speak for those movies, I can certainly tell people to not waste their time with Tremors 5: Bloodline.  Don Michael Paul is on the loose again and has fouled up another piece of a franchise.  His last movie was the terrible Jarhead 2: Field of Fire.  So you probably know what to expect here.

Tremors lore has developed since 1990 over the course of direct to video time.  For instance we now know that the Graboid will give birth to the Ass Blaster, a bipedal beast that uses bolts of flame that it shoots from its ass to leap into the air, acting as thrust.  Those are the main antagonists in this movie.  They have surfaced in South Africa, picking off people left and right.  And so a character that rips off Burke from Aliens, who wants a live sample, convinces Graboid specialist Burt Gummer to come out of retirement to hunt both Ass Blasters and Graboids.  Michael Gross returns in this key role, he’s probably the best thing about a weak movie.

Now let’s get something straight, this is a low key movie, with a low budget.  So we shouldn’t expect anything great.  But when you have beautiful locations of South Africa at hand, yet manage to make the movie look ugly and amateur, only the director can be blamed for making it a failure.  It’s not all about cost.  There must be talent.  There are scenes that are so blatantly plagiarised in an attempt to fill in for creative brainfreeze that you don’t know whether to laugh or turn it off.  For instance, when Don Michael Paul attempts to ape the raptor in the kitchen scene from Jurassic Park, he frames everything so obviously and yet so poorly that the will so continue through the movie is sapped.  I wanted to turn this movie off in the first act, long before that by the way.

The Tremors series is also supposed to be funny.  And again a large budget can’t buy you humour.  I did not laugh at this movie.  That’s another problem.  Michael Gross is a cool dude and I got a Graboid/Fred Ward/Kevin Bacon/Elephant Gun nostalgia kick out of seeing him in this movie.  I will also credit the film for using real blanks with the weaponry on screen and for not violently shaking the camera.  But what they really need to do is to get this series back on the big screen.  I don’t want another terrible VOD cash in like this.  Bring back Fred Ward, Kevin Bacon and Michael Gross.

And set it in the town of Perfection.

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6 Comments

  1. Mainline DnB

    September 28, 2015 at 11:58 pm

    I love the first Tremors but i haven’t seen a single second of any of the sequels. They have creatures called Ass Blasters now, yeah? I’ll pass.

    • Dakota

      July 31, 2016 at 7:53 pm

      Tremors Franchise
      Best to Worst (my opinion):

      1. Tremors: The Series (My personal favorite. I like it better than all 5 movies)

      2. Tremors 2: Aftershocks (Kevin Bacon not returning is what made this film superior to the first in my eyes)

      3. Tremors 3: Back to Perfection (Not much to say. Just another great Tremors movie. Finally established how the full life cycle works. Graboid to Shrieker to Assblaster to egg and then back to Graboid)

      4. Tremors 5: Bloodlines (Overall it was mostly great. My only complaint is with the creature redesigns. Assblasters with goofy looking bat wings? Still, it could have been worse so i am happy with the final product)

      5. Tremors 4: The Legend Begins (meh… prequel)

      6. Tremors (Ranked last because I dont like Kevin Bacon. He is my least favorite actor of all time and he ruined what could have been a great monster movie. I did not even become a tremors fan until i saw the sequels. Not returning for the tremors sequels was the best decision he ever made for the franchise)

  2. Mucho Macho

    September 29, 2015 at 12:35 pm

    Tremors 1 is a classic

  3. Barney Ross

    September 29, 2015 at 7:16 pm

    Tremors 1 is the best PG13 horror or should i say the only one i love??

    Tremors is a masterpiece, the 2nd, 3rd are just ok, the 4th is a little better than 2 and 3. The tv show is nothing special. I still haven’t seen Tremors 5 yet.

  4. Bruce Simpson

    October 1, 2015 at 11:01 pm

    Just watched this movie and all I can say is “WTF?”

    This is one of the worst movies I’ve ever had the misfortune to waste my time watching (and I’ve watched a lot of lemons).

    As an avid fan of the previous four installments of this franchise, I was so bitterly disappointed at this movie that words really can’t convey the depth of my sadness.

    Right from the start I felt that this must have been funded by The South African Tourism Board, or something similar. Interestingly enough though, even South Africa itself goes to great lengths to distance itself from the movie — read the disclaimer near the end of the credits — it’s very clear they are very embarrassed by the way this movie turned out.

    Burt Gummer’s character was funny in Tremors 1 through 4 — but funny in a strong, macho way. In T5 he’s turned into a silly clown which utterly destroys his credibility as a gun-toting tough-guy.

    The effects budget was obviously very small on this movie — with a far greater reliance on indirect shots (such as in the shower attack) than on actual shots of the graboids.

    The acting was poor, the storyline was very, very weak and the whole thing was more like a high-school production than something you’d expect to pay money for.

    Tragic! I treasure the four Tremors disks in my DVD library but I’m not going to waste money on adding Tremors 5 to that collection.

  5. TheLulzyHunter

    October 18, 2015 at 8:04 pm

    Tremors 1 rocks. Tremors 2 is the best IMHO. Tremors 4 is a rockin’ prequel. Tremors 3 and the TV series suck to me. I hate this one. It felt as if Happy Madison wrote a Tremors fanfiction.