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REVIEW: 44 Minutes (2003) Is Fucking Hilarious | ManlyMovie

REVIEW: 44 Minutes (2003) Is Fucking Hilarious

Run Time: 103 Mins
Rated: TV-MA
What To Expect:  Grand Theft Auto: The Movie, with 10,000 rounds of ammo+ spent!

In 1997 two fellows decided to rob a bank, armed with Chinese AK-47s (Type 56s) assault rifles and Heckler & Koch battle rifles. Planning and tactics weren’t high on their agenda, instead, body armour and thousands of rounds of ammunition were.  Of course, our masterminds wound up dead, but only after a 44 minute shoot out described as one of the ‘Bloodiest events in American Police history’.  And yes, this actually happened.  Also, you know what? They made a movie about it.  Starring Michael Madsen and Ron Livingston (with Dale Dye), it was supposed to be gritty, chilling and serious.  But this is a movie I found downright hilarious, the type of hilarious where people demand to know why you’re laughing at the top of your lungs.

In this movie, Larry Eugene Phillips Jr. is played by Andrew Bryniarski and the second gunman, Emil Mătăsăreanu is played by Oleg Taktarov.  Taktarov, you may remember, appeared in Predators, while Bryniarski played Leatherface in the 2003 remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  Why these two were cast in these roles baffles me but I have to say that their acting skills are… questionable, with Bryniarski in particular coming across like a bank robbing version of Zangief from the 1994 movie Street Fighter.  This is in contrast with Michael Madsen, Mario Van Peebles and especially Ron Livingston as their thespian nemesis cops playing it straight as a rod. It doesn’t jive, and it’s kind of humorous.

So our heroes, wisely stripped of dialogue in the movie (except for functional instructions such as ‘hurry up bitch’) by the director, are the type who like working out, admiring Porsche automobiles and hating on pig cops.  As they head out to hit an armoured truck, they find it off-schedule.  Instead they impulsively decide to knock off a nearby bank.  In broad daylight, two hulking men in balaclavas, armed with assault rifles and carrying bags containing thousands (and thousands!) of rounds of ammo stroll casually towards the bank. Instantly, this inconspicuous attire draws the attention of a squad car — they’ve been made before they even enter the building.

Up until this point the movie had been kind of dragging its feat with grim cop melodrama, with Madsen looking bored and forgetting his lines.  But after the heist starts, the fun begins.  Upon entering the bank, this pair of meatheads begins doing their favourite thing in the whole world – firing their beloved weapons on full auto.  Now if you were to rob a bank, what would you do after entering the building (caveat, you must not have done boring tasks like recon it like the movie versions of Emil and Larry)… do you take an inventory of exits and people etc?  Not these guys, the first thing they do is fire 200-300 rounds of ammo into the walls and ceiling.  This is Larry and Emil’s version of a single warning shot; if 300 rounds doesn’t sound like much, to set the scene, the second floor starts to buckle and ceiling begins to collapse.  This is before they’ve even asked for money!  John Matrix would recoil in horror at the overkill.

‘C’MON, PIG!’

Soon, the entire building has been surrounded by half of continental America’s police – who would’ve thought that discharging hundreds of 7.62 rounds into the ceiling downtown by yelling maniacs would’ve drawn such attention?!  And it takes our bandits a while to realise this but, you understand, these are not criminal masterminds.  After stealing money, they exit the building to confront the ‘pigs’ and next, one of the most surreal things I’ve ever seen in a movie begins.

Larry and Emil stand in front of the bank and fire their drum-fed Type 56s on police.  Basically, until the end of the movie!

Actually I tell a lie, they briefly go back inside the building with a discombobulated Taktarov firing on a safe he’s having trouble opening (on uh, full auto).  Then it’s back to the street with both men standing in one position, firing like madmen on cars and even news helicopters.  ‘C’mon, pig!’, taunts one of them, as he pulls out a Heckler & Kock HK-91 battle rifle to up the ante.  Very surreal and to be honest, very amusing, like villains from a McBain (from the Simpsons) movie. Or even better, a ‘rampage’ from a GTA game.  They fire so many rounds that technically, their AKs should’ve caught fire by the barrel.  It happens.  The real fight had 2,000+ rounds discharged between cops and robbers, but here it’s surely 10,000+!

At one point in the movie, Michael Madsen does his starry-eyed musing thing where he recalls that they were involved in a previous robbery and got away, ‘disappearing into the wind’.  And I was like really?  You lost those two geniuses?!

Gentlemen, this movie starts slow  and the real life crims were probably more intelligent.  But it’s a fuckin’ blast when the shit starts and goes down!

 

52 Comments

  1. Avatar

    jim

    January 29, 2017 at 4:32 pm

    I really like Micheal Madsen but I can’t sit through dozens of DTV turds looking for something decent..I saw Vice (2008) and it’s pretty good..Anyone know of any other watchable Madsen flics I might have missed..?…Meanwhile. Donald J Trump is a fucking Boss.!..Looks like the man means what he says..But why aren’t the Saudis and Pakistan on that banned list? He needs to go even further.

    • Avatar

      Mucho Macho

      January 29, 2017 at 5:17 pm

      Jews in Israel must be looking at Hollywood Jews like they’re from another planet. They’re protesting like crazy and some of them even saying that they’re going to register as Muslim in solidarity.
      I would like this idiots to go to places like Pakistan, Syria, Iran and say they’re Jewish and see how well their “solidarity” turns out.

      A lot of these crazy Islamic radical men must love the fact that they got American white girls yelling for them to be the let in the country. They are like “Yes..let us in so once we’re there we can rape you”

      • Avatar

        jim

        January 29, 2017 at 6:54 pm

        A lot of those airport protests are organised by CAIR ( Council on American–Islamic Relations ) which is well known as a front organisation..I’ll be interested to see how much support they get…Saudi and Pak must be on that ban list too..the only reason they’re not is because there is a genuine fear that the secret services in those countries could go totally rogue..as it is they play both sides against the middle..we live in interesting times my friend….What’s your reading of the mood over there ?… What do people think of all this ?..Needless to say I’m ignoring the MSM.

        • Avatar

          Mucho Macho

          January 29, 2017 at 9:32 pm

          It seems like CNN full-time job now is to shit on Trump. Now this week they’re going to have a town meeting with Nancy Pelosi they even have people on the panel saying that he should step down as even let Mike Pence take over. It’s really fucking Wild.
          But once again we got fake news, I remember a few years ago Obama did something with the Iraqis for six months but there was not too much hoopla and I happened to Google it and find .
          This once again, is all bullshit.
          http://www.heraldsun.com.au/blogs/andrew-bolt/muslim-ban-hypocrisy-left-said-nothing-when-obama-also-halted-visas/news-story/17c901096824ecd0a2e3a4d1e5ded377

        • Avatar

          Mucho Macho

          January 29, 2017 at 9:36 pm

          These fucking liberals think that the world is “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”. In America less than 1% the population is Muslim so they’re spread out, they haven’t taken a city like in Europe. That’s why they don’t know what it’s like. I seriously wish some of these fucking idiot women to walk through a Muslim fucking neighborhood like they do it here in America with their tits hanging out of their too-small tank tops and their Daisy Dukes and see what fucking happens to them.

          • Avatar

            jim

            January 29, 2017 at 10:20 pm

            At least you Americans still have a chance to stop the muzzie rot..kill it before it spreads….I think Europe is fucked..At least 10% of France’s pop is muzzie and some say it could be 15% since so many are undocumented…For me the potential dangers posed by a le Pen, Wilders, Trump, Brexit are far more manageable than the certain disaster of moslem expansion..there is no way in hell the west can survive islam…no way…it must be stopped…we have to reduce the numbers….no choice now…make life difficult and they will leave…it’s worth almost any risk….

          • Avatar

            Mucho Macho

            January 29, 2017 at 10:53 pm

            Here’s a lesson I learned in life.
            If you want Lasagna you can’t make it with a spaghetti recipe.
            So many lefties want to enjoy & like enjoying the fruits of the evil free market West.

            They still do not understand or comprehend or seem incapable of understanding that those heights were reached being a certain way with certain people.
            If you change the recipe you ain’t getting a lasagna.

          • Avatar

            Der

            January 30, 2017 at 4:00 am

            Mmmmmmmmm lasagna

          • Avatar

            Mucho Macho

            January 29, 2017 at 10:55 pm

            Btw..U alright over there. Hope life treating u well.

          • Avatar

            jim

            January 30, 2017 at 3:55 pm

            I’d say the atmosphere in Ireland is a bit febrile but we have a tendency not to do anything until the last moment.Brexit is a problem for us..as is a protectionist USA…II say this even though I support both since they serve as a corrective to policies I despise…but if le Pen and Wilders get elected the pace of events will increase…who knows where it will end?..Going to be an interesting year..

          • Avatar

            Mucho Macho

            January 30, 2017 at 5:47 pm

            My friend that is human nature, sometimes we don’t do anything until we are cornered and/or taste our own blood.
            Hopefully it all turns out well for you guys. Let me know how everything goes
            Hope all is well on the homefront

          • Avatar

            Der

            January 30, 2017 at 7:25 am

            Will then fuck off to America jimmy instead of hiding in your pit shout shit about people you’ve never probably have a conversation with,go jump on a plane and head over I’d say San Francisco is the place for you you’d fit right in.

          • Avatar

            jim

            January 30, 2017 at 3:32 pm

            Lectures from pedo IRA shiteaters I don’t need…With murderers in our parliament we are in no position to lecture Americans about their govt…

        • Avatar

          Mucho Macho

          January 29, 2017 at 9:37 pm

          From .Trump’s Twitter
          “Donald J. Trump
          7h7 hours ago
          Donald J. Trump ‏@realDonaldTrump
          Our country needs strong borders and extreme vetting, NOW. Look
          what is happening all over Europe and, indeed, the world – a horrible mess!”

          In the US Donald Trump has been famous pretty much my entire life I think. I know of him since I was a little kid. Who knew he was gonna be the one to stand like this.

        • Avatar

          Mucho Macho

          January 29, 2017 at 9:47 pm

          Like I’ve mentioned here before I genuinely believe that people who talk more about diversity live the least diverse lives.
          I know people from all walks of life speak more than one language and have to travel cause of work to various places.
          I think almost everyone born in South Florida crom 1970-90 had a Spanish or some sort of Spanish blood pumping through their veins from one side or both. It was a community build by children of Communism or socialism gone to shit. What these assholes protesting and what they want (the Bernie Sanders followers) is a bullshit socialist Utopia that does not exist in the end & there is no spreading of wealth , only corruption.
          And if they don’t get their way they throw temper tantrums like fucking kids. I know people who have protested, some friends of mine they’re good people but they have been indoctrinated by this mentality that by government enlargement everyone will be safe from mediocrity. And like I told you most of them have no experience with the very people they always claiming to defend.
          I like I said to you before they’re looking at Donald Trump and they’re not used to this kind of manly Behavior. They don’t know what the fuck is going on.
          The guy aint perfect and not to say mistakes will not be made but seriously having a closer look and those that coming to this country it’s nothing wrong nor bad.
          What the fuck is wrong with these people criticizing it

  2. Avatar

    Mucho Macho

    January 29, 2017 at 5:00 pm

    Its hard to believe but we’re almost at the 20-year anniversary of this incident which I still remember well. I still remember my friend saying to me “Turn on the TV there’s some shit going down in LA!” and my response was “What else is new?”
    I turned on the TV & first thing I see are these crazy armed to the teeth motherfuckers wearing complete body armor shooting erratically on the street and I just went “Holy Shit!!”
    Now this took place just a couple of years after OJ Simpson fled in his white Bronco and the media broadcasted live, so these things were becoming all the rage if I may say.

    Another thing that stemmed from this incident was the fact that it started the discussion how police officers we’re not prepared for this sort of situation, mostly meaning that the police officers did not have the weapons when faced with this reality. As a result since then, some changes have been implement and of course some in the ultra-left have a problem with it, citing it as the “militarysation” of police.

    I think it’s worth noting that these two idiots actually tried this before twice and were successful. Both times they came in shooting at the ceiling, however the third time is when the shit hit the fan and the shootout erupted in the streets.

    I’ve seen this movie and I like it, it’s just good stupid fun.

    📼https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/95efe38dd238bfb6a844a253fbc4b62261f8b24c42a0979e9c02c7a74c227edc.jpg

    📺https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dab3cc539e59ac19d24dcd1322f1a9e4530ce8e8a87427c366a4ea008a81a1ff.jpg

    📼https://youtu.be/zmmNhcXKz8I

    📺https://youtu.be/5zJV9l0dWwg

  3. Avatar

    Mucho Macho

    January 29, 2017 at 5:04 pm

    The movie available for free
    https://youtu.be/Wty8VSi4Fs0

  4. Avatar

    CyrusTheVirus85

    February 1, 2017 at 10:02 am

    lol these comment section

    • Avatar

      Mucho Macho

      February 1, 2017 at 6:58 pm

      😂😂😂