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REVIEW: The Evil That Men Do (1984) | ManlyMovie

REVIEW: The Evil That Men Do (1984)


Run Time:
90 Mins
Rated: R
What To Expect: Old school mandom than you just don’t find anymore

Somewhere in the 2000s I was enlightened on the awesomeness of Charles Bronson’s B-Movies. Particularly the ones from the 1980s.  Each one was more hilarious and brutal than the last, nearly all of them involve Bronson killing pissants outside the law who deserve it.  Here’s another, I recommend checking it out if you haven’t already.  Don’t worry, there’s no shame in not having seen some of Big Charlie’s smaller movies.

There’s a nut on the loose, one who professionally trains tinpot dictators how to torture pissants real good.  The US Government wants him dead, so they set out to hire Bronson, who plays the unwilling assassin.  But Charles!  We know by now in these movies that you’re just going to end up stabbing, shooting and hanging people, so why bother with the pretence?  Well, like most Bronson movies, it doesn’t!  It just gets straight to it.

Bronson is retired from pissant killing and now living on an island that looks suspiciously like Val Verde, where he strolls the beaches jovially and talks to pet fish.  When a man shows up and offers Bronson ‘the job’ of killing the psycho, held up in Guatemala, Bronson resists.  He’s laid all that shit behind him.  That is until the man shows him video interviews of survivors telling tales of woe, such as how the they were forced to eat their own shit.  Bronson has seen enough and takes the first flight down. Atta boy.

This is another Bronson movie where the final product is at odds with the actual premise.  It’s supposed to be a movie about a stealthy assassination.  And the ‘covert’ methods are curious, to say the least.  Does he kill the man with a sniper rifle?  Strangle him quietly?  Bronson has other ideas in mind.  “I’ll need a shotgun.  With a sawn off barrel”.  I like Bronson’s style, how many political thrillers end up with scenes that look like they’re from The Hills Have Eyes?

So, in what one could not exactly describe as a covert manner, Bronson starts terminating ‘The Doctor’s’ goons before giving the man himself an appropriate end.  Now you might wonder, at the height of the Cold War, is an American hanging another man to death in broad daylight in Guatemala with a firehose in front of 40 screaming witnesses, among them a busload of onlooking children, a discrete way of completing a contract killing?

Well you see, it’s okay, ’cause Bronson informs us that the bad guys have successfully fallen for his ‘tourist’ persona.  Yeah, Charles… about that… I think the highspeed chases and pitched gun battles suggest otherwise.  This movie aspires to Cold War commentary way above its pay grade.  Instead, what it actually is is Paul Kersey:  On Vacation.  Or Bronson taking the law into his own hands:  South American edition.  It’s rough and crude.  But it’s Bronson-Manly, its very own brand. These movies shouldn’t be missed.

This is oldschool manliness.  You won’t find some shitty romantic subplot or pontificating speech here.  It’s just Bronson on the fucking loose.

7

45 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Mucho Macho

    October 6, 2015 at 11:21 pm

    We were soo close to this cinematic gem.
    Love the tag line

    • Avatar

      jim

      October 7, 2015 at 12:53 am

      We got Bronson & Marvin in Death Hunt. So much better. Time for THAT machofest to get a shout out on this site. Back in the day when I daydreamed about movies I imagined I might direct just one with old stoneface. I could imagine the cool posters they had in those days.:I even had a great title.:
      DO NOT RESUSCITATE

      • Avatar

        Mucho Macho

        October 7, 2015 at 1:37 am

        Bronson & Marvin were indeed a manly duo for the ages. God Bless “Death Hunt”
        But since we got that dynamic duo it would have been awesome as well to have Gotten Bronson & Norris at some point.
        DO NOT RESUSCITATE
        directed by Jim
        Mandom Productions
        Special appearance by Mucho Macho ( bringing down the quality😬)

  2. Avatar

    Mucho Macho

    October 6, 2015 at 11:22 pm

    Bronson is real good at his job

  3. Avatar

    Mucho Macho

    October 6, 2015 at 11:23 pm

    Mandom!!!

    • Avatar

      jim

      October 7, 2015 at 1:24 am

      That’s a lot of MANDOM. Are you manly enough to have so much MANDOM in your bathroom? Is anyone? Don’t you keep it locked up in your gun cabinet? That stuff was sold with health and safety warnings. Only one can per customer.You had to be licensed and undergo a training course before they let you buy any.Even in the seventies they had to be careful.

      • Avatar

        Mucho Macho

        October 7, 2015 at 1:39 am

        My bathroom will explode from so much MANDOM.
        there probably need to be like a weekend retreat to instruct man how to apply & use MANDOM.
        With great Manly Powers…
        Comes great Manly Responsibilities

  4. Avatar

    Jimmy Smith

    October 6, 2015 at 11:28 pm

    I’ve been waiting for a review for this film. It is one of my favorites and like you said is just a cold blooded, grim, bad to the bone manly action movie. But i thought his character was working for the Israelis? I am pretty sure the American Govt. is shown actually helping the doctor (which they actually did support and help train foreign dictatorships like Iran and many South American countries torture and kill the opposition) which makes the story that much more appealing and like you said a product of the cold war 80’s era (which is another reason why it’s awesome).
    Definitely one I will buy on DVD and one hell of a gem. I just love how his character just does not give a fuck, he pretty much uses the woman and her kid as bait lol ! manly as fuck.

    • The Night Rider

      The Night Rider

      October 7, 2015 at 11:27 am

      You#re right there Jimmy, it was the Israelis.

  5. Avatar

    Mucho Macho

    October 6, 2015 at 11:28 pm

    This is 1 of the manliest scenes in movie history. Saw it as a young boy & said to myself ” I wanna be just like this guy when i grow up!”
    https://youtu.be/vuKeUAavpnU

  6. Avatar

    Mucho Macho

    October 6, 2015 at 11:35 pm

    Love old posters

    • Avatar

      Jimmy Smith

      October 7, 2015 at 2:29 am

      I’m going to get this framed and on my wall!

      • Avatar

        Mucho Macho

        October 7, 2015 at 2:58 am

        Lol
        I’m going to put this up on my front door with the caption
        “The Evil that Men do..is what you burglars will find out if you enter this Bronson Zone!”

  7. Avatar

    Saverio

    October 7, 2015 at 1:27 am

    damn it I love 80’s movie trailers with that famous 80’s trailer narrator! He makes all movies he narrates sound like its a can’t-miss.

  8. Avatar

    CyrusTheVirus85

    October 7, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    Bronson is one of the true elders of movie mandom. They need to make a movie about this man.