Nobody Wants To See A 70 Year Old Terminator

You do know that Terminator: Genesis is going to feature a Terminator, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger that is headed for 70 don’t you?  Who the fuck wants to see this embarrassment?   The idea behind it is that somehow Schwarzenegger will play a T-800 that will operate across several timelines and/or decades.  Here’s Schwarzenegger’s explanation:

“The way that the character is written, it’s a machine underneath. It’s this metal skeleton. But above that is human flesh. And the Terminator’s flesh ages, just like any other human being’s flesh. Maybe not as fast. But it definitely ages.”

So it sounds like the machine will be sent back to 1984 or something along those lines and survive/operate into the present day as opposed to being Terminated.  Sounds reasonable, I hear the fan boys protest.  Yes, it can be explained logically but that doesn’t mean it can be excused.  They were already pushing it ten+ years ago in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (horrible Terminator movie) with a clearly aged Terminator.  Now they’re going to push it even further here.  The Terminator that real fans know is genetically and perpetually aged around its mid ’30s.  It likes wearing shades.  It is not a retiree who put 200% effort into trying to attain 75% of the physique that has long since left him, with greying and receding hair.

Dignity

Let me throw a word out there so that maybe some can appreciate the potential problem here.  Dignity.  This word applies to not just Arnold but fanboys.  Well over ten years ago Mel Gibson expressed serious doubt about returning to play Mad Max telling a reporter that he probably had “too many lines on the forehead” and that a new movie would have to be renamed “Fat Max”.  It’s possible that this contributed to Mel turning down Mad Max 4.  Clint Eastwood is another man who has been tortured for decades about returning to Dirty Harry – always turning it down.

Because it’s done!  It’s over!

Arnold though seems desperate.  Like Sylvester Stallone it seems that he has become too eager to stay relevant and will stop at nothing to stay a big star.  Perhaps his recent bombs have added to this fuel.  He’s going to play an G-800 (Cyberdyne Grandpa Series).  Also desperate are deranged fan boys who accept any old shit and cry and whine when someone speaks sense and truth.  This kind of shit should not be encouraged.

“Now listen… and understand!”

The only way this might have worked is if they had gone to town with extensive start of the art computer generated manipulation.  Not just on his face but his body too.  And not some shitty wax job where the skin is smoothed out.  Maybe, just maybe… full Avatar-spec recreation might have saved this.  But even then it wouldn’t be a done deal.  What the series needs is not only a normal Terminator but a badass Terminator.  Not some silly protector.  This show needs to go back to its roots and venture heavily back into horror territory.  This means no OAPs protecting the cast of Game of Thrones!

Because you know this is going to be PG-13 right?  Most say don’t underestimate The Oak.  But I say this two handed blow of PG-13 shit straying into G.I. Joe or Transformers territory – with a decrepit cyborg bodyguard, could be the final nail in the coffin for Schwarzenegger’s career.  Arnold I hope you have not made a major blunder with this because nobody wants to see a 70 year old Terminator.