How To Handle Your 1st Day In Prison

Anyone going to prison soon?  If so, some helpful tips can be found in random conversations from The Sopranos.

On the first day, the green inmate might want to consider entering the mess.  Make sure to have a scowl on your face, in order to communicate that you are not one with whom to fuck with.  Step two is to search for the ‘biggest, blackest, motherfucker’ that you can find.

Challenge the target motherfucker on precisely what the fuck it is he’s looking at.  Whether the target motherfucker was even looking at you in the first place is irrelevant.  When the motherfucker suggests confusion about your challenge, show contempt for his response and terminate further dialogue.

Strike the motherfucker across the fucking nose.

Strike the motherfucker until he’s down, the get on him and beat the shit out of the motherfucker until the other inmates go fucking crazy, even the guards.  From that day on, no-one will look crooked at you.

The Sopranos: The Greatest TV Series of All Time.