Why “Anytime” Is The Most Badass Predator Of Them All

While watching Predators again recently, I couldn’t help but notice that the trio of hunters in that movie were a bit… noobish.  They are hunting band of mercenaries, not all of whom even survived the drop, and by the end of the movie, all three Predators are dead.  One is killed by a mortally wounded Russian, one is damned near killed by a 140lb rapist (DIE SPACE FAGGOT!), one is killed by a gangster with a sword and finally, the boss is killed by Adrien Brody.  Adrien Brody.

This is not only despite their strength in numbers, three of ’em, but having surveillance drones, attack dogs and being intimate with the topography.  To add insult to injury, the prey, as mentioned, aren’t exactly the deadliest on offer.  At several points, they are even physically fighting each other.  I thought to myself, man… if “Anytime” was in this show, it would all be over by now.

Anytime is the cult name given to the original Predator.  And that thing was badass.  In Predator he is flying solo, with minimal weaponry.  And he’s hunting the best of the best, U.S. Special Forces.  Dutch’s crew were certainly no quarrelling gangbangers/mercenaries.  They operated as one highly professional unit, with Dutch being the brain that is responded to without question, like nerves on a limb.  And despite their specialist weaponry and training and being on their own homeworld, Anytime tears them a new asshole.  Hell, technically, they don’t even kill him.  He kills himself.  In Predator 2 and Predators, every Predator is finished off by a human.

Anytime would’ve not only kicked ass and taken names with Brody’s band of noobs, he would’ve taken down Rodriguez’ ‘Super Predators’ also.

Anytime, come to think of it, is also the superior of “Pussyface”, Lt. Harrigan’s old foe in Los Angeles.  Pussyface, it has to be said, was a bit of a, well… pussy, as good as that movie was (it’s an underrated classic).  Whereas the alien in the jungle creates havoc and is killing the most dangerous men in the world, trolling them in the process… Pussyface gets run out of town by a lowly cop, then killed on his own ship, in front of his own crew with his own weapon, by said cop.  Should we even discuss the AVP Predators?  I think Anderson’s fat Predators can be dismissed outright.  The other Predator though, “Wolf”, is probably worth mentioning.  Named after Harvey Kietel’s character in Pulp Fiction, that one seems to be a bit of a specialist, a rank I can’t imagine would’ve been earned for nothing.  The only thing the Bros. Strausses got right in that movie, an abomination, was the Predator itself.  In another movie, I’d really liked to have seen “Wolf” get put to the test.  In another movie by… I dunno, Shane Black!

At any rate though, in the next Predator movie, created by Shane Black, we need another “Anytime”.  I trust that Shane Black knows what’s up.  I think we might just get one.