Boycott The RoboCop Remake (2014)

I must admit, I didn’t think it couldn’t get worse than RoboCop 3, but there’s a turd around the corner that’ll make us look back on that travesty with fondness.  The RoboCop remake is around the corner, it’ll stink out theaters at the end of next month.  Do the right thing.  Boycott it.  Don’t see it, don’t let anyone you know see it.  If they’re unaware of it, don’t mention it to them, if they are aware of it and plan on seeing it, let them know that they’re going to waste their time and money.  Lie if you have to, director Jose Padilha has no problem lying when he says that the decision to go PG-13 is the right one for artistic reasons.  This slug knows perfectly well that it has nothing to do with substance and everything to do with greed.  They’re cashing us out.

But it’s not just about the rating, which is crucial.  Or about how bad the piece of shit looks, and it does look bad – I mean how fucking awful is that costume in the picture above – why does RoboCop have a RoboGut?  It’s worse than ratings and incomprehensibly shit production.  ManlyMovie reviewed the screenplay for RoboCop (2014) some time ago and rated it 3/10.  And while it wasn’t a shooting draft, I’m satisfied that it’s pretty close to it.  “Satire?  Commentary?  Forget it.  Was this thing typed by a computer?  Where’s the human touch?  Shockingly disappointing.  The old TV series was actually more on form than this.  This isn’t old Detroit, from the get-go it’s Delta City.”  It was ghastly and downright depressing.  RoboCop now incapacitates enemies by shooting them in the neck with tranquilizer darts.  You read that right.

We keep complaining about shit remakes, PG reboots and insults to classic Manly Movies.  But we don’t do much about it.  So now it’s time to vote with your wallet.  Out there, there’s also a contingent of ‘reviewers’ who will willingly try to polish this turd, they know which side their bread is buttered on.  Especially print/hard issue magazines.  Those college boys think they’re pretty smart. But they’re also part of the problem.  That’s not a problem here, this is a niche site with no intentions of selling out.  Let those scumbags have it too, don’t let the shills away with it.  Call them out in comments sections, whatever.  Do what you have to.

Boycott RoboCop 2014.