REVIEW: The Expendables 3 Extended Blu-Ray (2014)

Runtime: 191 Mins
Rated: R
What To Expect: Extras that feature very little of your favourite icons, extended cut in best quality available

The review of this notable Blu-Ray comes somewhat late, as you’ll understand that copies of the movie weren’t exactly thrown at ManlyMovie.  “Well, I’m fighting this thing man, I kick ass, who kiss ass, and I’m busting heads. It’s the only way to win this fucking war. And these shitheads… these yellow traitoring motherfuckers… they’re everywhere.”  Anyway, enough of quotes from superior Dolph Lundgren movies, it’s time for another swig of honesty.  The Expendables 3 is here on Blu-Ray and you probably shouldn’t buy it.  Easy there, fanboys.  I’m not calling for some total deranged boycott, rather, for those who don’t like reading full reviews, if you want to see this movie (perhaps again), my advice is to rent the digital extended download.  Or rent this.  But for keeps?  Not worth it.  I consider the extras weak enough to pass on.  Besides that, what else would there be?

I thought the movie itself  was poor, 5/10.  I attacked the decision to go PG-13, even though the idea of going the political route and trying to spin things is tempting.  Vindication came when Sylvester Stallone himself also admitted it hurt the movie.  It wasn’t the only problem though, the production was a story of blown opportunities and an awkward foray into virtual slapstick.  We don’t need to go through this again, but it kinda pisses me off to see Mel Gibson tearing up the screen in the back of that van, only to be ousted from the screen by Ronda Rousey and other no-marks.  The extended version was somewhat better as a movie, 6/10, but for a movie to be coming up with a score like that which features Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mel Gibson and Wesley Snipes… no!  I’m sorry, but someone fucked up.  What else am I supposed to say?

The Blu-Ray version being reviewed here is the extended version, which also features the theatrical version.  Except for someone with a very casual interest, perhaps looking to add something to a Christmas list, I wouldn’t recommend it. Again, if you gotta check this movie out, I see no reason to stray from renting the digital extended version, which will be in high definition.  It’s not terrible, so let’s look at some reasons why you might want to pick it up.  First of all, image quality.  While the extended digital release is in high definition, it won’t compare to the Blu-Ray release.  Services that rent movies in ‘high definition’ are always going to compress their releases, even though they list them at 1080p.  True, many won’t notice the difference, but there’s no denying that the difference exists.  

Other than that, and possibly wanting to be a completist with three ‘R’ Expendables movies on your shelf, there’s nothing worth getting excited over here.  There’s an extended deleted scene with Jason Statham.  Very cool, very well directed, slick but steady and exciting.  It gives us hope for Patrick Hughes, especially with The Raid remake on the horizon.

The downside then.  I loaded this disc hoping to hear from greats like Mel Gibson and Arnold Schwarzenegger.  Perhaps even featurettes dedicated to both, I thought, especially since this version was supposedly a fuller release than the theatrical.  Well, for Mr. Gibson, forget it.  You’d think that the guy was an extra in the movie, and that Arnold Schwarzenegger wasn’t too far behind, same with Wesley Snipes.  In the 51 one minute long documentary, which pales hugely in comparison to ‘Inferno’ (the excellent doc for the first movie), we just see the usual time-out promo words from cast and crew, y’know, the rushed “it’s an honour to act with these people” type of thing.  

And way too much of it features Glen Powell, Ronda Rousey etc.  Just like the movie.  We want to hear what our icons have to say, cameras following them around and whatnot.  Case in point: Kellen Lutz (!) tells us how he witnessed awesome conversations and fooling around between big stars like Snipes and Schwarzenegger, meeting for the first time.  Well aren’t we seeing stuff like this for ourselves? There’s also no commentary, on either version of the movie.  Patrick Hughes boasts that he has enough cast members to make seventeen movies, in this extended Blu-Ray release.  Not enough, it seems, to utter a single word for a commentary track.  

It probably would been from Victor Ortiz and Avi Lerner anyway.  That, gents, is a commentary track I can safely pass on.