Sony Shitcans ‘The Interview’ Theatrical Release After Threats

Another day, another update on Kim vs Sony.

The real life super villain, who has banned Steven Seagal movies from being purchased or broadcast in his country, this week issued terror threats to would-be viewers of upcoming Sony Entertainment satire ‘The Interview’.  Or at least most people suspect his hacking squads to be behind it.  As a result, Sony has pulled the theatrical release of the movie.  Below is a statement from the villains, followed by Sony’s response.  Man, this kinda shit just did not happen during Chuck Norris’ day.

Warning
We will clearly show it to you at the very time and places “The Interview” be shown, including the premiere, how bitter fate those who seek fun in terror should be doomed to.
Soon all the world will see what an awful movie Sony Pictures Entertainment has made.
The world will be full of fear.
Remember the 11th of September 2001.
We recommend you to keep yourself distant from the places at that time.
(If your house is nearby, you’d better leave.)
Whatever comes in the coming days is called by the greed of Sony Pictures Entertainment.
All the world will denounce the SONY.

[…]

“In light of the decision by the majority of our exhibitors not to show the film The Interview, we have decided not to move forward with the planned December 25 theatrical release. We respect and understand our partners’ decision and, of course, completely share their paramount interest in the safety of employees and theater-goers.