Sly Vs Arnie: In The End, Who Was The True Action King?

There can be only one

When these two men retire, the question future generations will ask (assuming they even give a damn, the way kids are nowadays) will be; who was the biggest action star? And really, there are only two options. Stallone or Schwarzenegger. Nobody else comes close. And I think within the past five years, as far as staying power and the number of manly movies put out, it could be Stallone. Why? Probably because he hung around, ditched aspirations of becoming Pacino or the next Brando and came full circle.  But the jury is still ut! I’m going to break down their careers as I see them in five-year intervals/eras, rounds if you like. And see who came out on top. I’m not just including the ’80s and early ’90s in this, rather 1981-present in its entirety. Box Office? Critical reviews? I really don’t give a shit about those, this isn’t that kinda site and you know it, and both of these men have been unfairly treated over the years.  So we’re going to see who left the bigger impression.  This article will be updated throughout time and we’ll probably also get down to some box office numbers and a ‘movie count’ eventually.

1981-1985: The Early Years

Stallone hits the ground running here. He was already the established star, though Arnie quickly closes in. Arnie comes out of left-field with Conan and also has The Terminator and Commando. A weaker Conan sequel is in there too. But Stallone has arguably his best run ever here, while Arnie can manage two or maybe three classics, Stallone comes out with four. The two best movies from his two best franchises appear in this window, Rocky III/IV and Rambo I/II, giving Stallone a powerful 4-hit combination. As good as The Terminator is, even it can’t stand up to the double-team of the two best Rambos. So Arnie has three here, Conan, Commando and Terminator. Stallone has First Blood, Rocky III, Rambo II and Rocky IV.

Winner: Sylvester Stallone

1986-1990: In Their Prime

Both men and the genre itself are in their prime here. In ’86 Sly has Cobra where Arnie has Raw Deal. These cancel each other out. In ’87, Schwarzenegger pulls way out and lands a devastating blow with Predator. The Running Man is a very underrated follow up. Stallone has no response. In ’88, Stallone brings old John. J. out of the armory (Rambo III) but its not enough to compete with Predator/The Running Man. Stallone comes back stronger in ’89 with Tango and Cash and Lock Up and Schwarzenegger’s Red Heat is forgettable. In 1990 this round is decided. Stallone comes out with Rocky V but Arnie’s Total Recall is too strong. In the end, Stallone’s three best movies, Rambo III, Lock Up and T&C struggle to match Predator, The Running Man and Total Recall and Arnie enters the ’90s on top.

Winner: Arnold Schwarzenegger

1991-1995: The Last of the Action Heroes

This was kind of the end of this genre. Arnie once again gets the drop on Sly with a near permanent knock-out from Terminator 2: Judgement Day in 1991. Stallone is pitiful with Oscar in 1991 and worse in 1992 when he drops Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot.  Arnie takes 1992 off.  In 1993 Stallone makes a comeback with the double blow of Demolition Man (a star is  born in earnest here in Wesley Snipes) and Cliffhanger.  Arnie has The Last Action Hero, not as good as either, but the effects of T2 are still being felt. The round is going to be decided in 1994.  Stallone has The Specialist, but Arnie gets decisive with True Lies.  Neither man has anything worth talking about in 1995. Arnie is now firmly in the lead across the board.

Winner: Arnold Schwarzenegger

1996-2000: The Dark Era

This is when the action genre suffered and turned to shit. Both men struggled. Arnie once again comes out with the stiffer blow, Eraser is the better movie than Stallone’s Daylight (though I genuinely liked Daylight). But this was unfortunately the end of Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger has nothing to offer for the rest of this section. Batman And Robin is woeful girlie-man shit and End of Days is just not a good movie.  Stallone, while struggling, gets in relative jabs with Cop Land, D-Tox and Get Carter. While not his best, they’re still under-rated and Arnie has nothing to offer in return. This was a tough era for both, but Stallone came out better and has almost returned to equal standing, but not quite overall.

Winner: Sylvester Stallone

2001-2005: Death of a Genre

This was easily the worst era ever for action movies. I was again left deeply dissatisfied with Arnold during this time. He had Collateral, a weak movie and Terminator 3. Now I really can’t abide Terminator 3, it turned the franchise into a joke, it was too camp and a piss poor Terminator movie. It also seemed to start a trend of shitty sequels and updates (Die Hard 4, AVP). Arnie phoned it in and used it as a tool for his political aspirations. Stallone was no better, film wise. Driven, Avenging Angelo and Spy Kids are utter shit movies. They are unworthy.  Now you could argue that T3 is an action movie and should be considered anyway. But I personally got more entertainment out of Sly during this time with The Contender – while T3 is a shit but high-profile action movie, The Contender is a brilliant – but non-action movie TV show, so it doesn’t count. Although arguably, The Contender sowed the seeds for Sly’s comeback (Contender lead to Rocky 6, which lead to Rambo IV and so on). But at the end? Between 2001-2005? Neither man made a classic action movie.

Winner: Draw

2006-2010: Stallone Revives a Genre

The obvious should be mentioned first, Arnie was in political office. So he made no movies at all, let alone any classic action movies But I’m not here to count anything but movies and Arnie made his own choice. Stallone on the other hand not only continues to make movies, but he defies Hollywood’s direction and continues to make old analogue action movies. Rocky VI isn’t such a bad movie, but Stallone gets risky and declares war with the brutal Rambo IV. Which leads to the wet-dream and statement of intent: The Expendables – ‘We’re back, and I’m the leader of this shit now”. This could  be the overall decisive round in declaring the King of Action. Arguably Arnie may not have had a comeback at all without Rambo IV and The Expendables. It puts Stallone firmly in front but it also gives him serious credibility to the point where he may not even have to win any further rounds – at least decisively.

Winner: Sylvester Stallone

2011-2015: They’re Back

From 2011 to the present, both Schwarzenegger and Stallone are doing their regular movie thing.  First of all, it’s tough to say whether The Expendables is strictly a ‘Stallone’ movie, as it draws on major combined firepower, so the second and third movies should really not count for either man.  So we get serious for Stallone in this phase with Bullet to the Head, that movie has balls of steel, fuck the mainstream critics – it counts.  However, since that movie, Stallone hasn’t impressed.  Grudge Match was a turd, and Reach Me sucked too, and it was an ensemble.  Arnold has The Last Stand, which I would say just about stands up to Bullet, and if it doesn’t, Sabotage sort of nudges it towards Schwarzenegger.  However the last year for this window, 2015, is still being decided.  Arnold has two movies coming this year, Stallone has one.

To be continued…