[REVIEW] Terminator: Genisys (2015)
Runtime: 125 Mins
Rated: PG-13
What To Expect: A sickly, trashy movie that makes Arnold Schwarzenegger look like an old fool
I know there are some people out there who have conditioned themselves to lower their expectations for this movie, yet still harbour secret hopes that it might be ‘okay’ or even the ‘third best’ movie in the series. Well I’m telling you, do not see this movie. That includes for the purpose of morbid curiosity or for some nostalgia kick. You will regret it. It’s not third on the list of best Terminator movies, it’s first on the list of worst Terminator movies. I think it’s safe to say I categorically hate Terminator: Genisys and everything about it. It’s a desecration of two classic movies… shame on James Cameron and Arnold Schwarzenegger for trying to shine us on.
See, the story is the first thing that gets to me about this movie. The film zooms back to 1984 in an action that will prove to be pointless and used only as a gimmick for promotional purposes – i.e. a ton of trailers to fuel the bait and switch. Kyle Reese, per usual, makes his way to night time Los Angeles. Only to be confronted by Sarah Connor, a good T-800, a bad T-800, a T-1000, then our heroes jet foward to 2017, to pre-empt the foundations of Skynet. If you’re a Terminator fan, you’ll probably be able to keep up with this, but it’s needlessly convoluted. However, if you’re a kid, under the age of 15 or maybe even 20, I’m sure the story of this movie is borderline baffling and probably comes across as a complete mess.
That’s odd, because they’ve obviously ditched what they consider to be financial ballast, the adult-orientated signature vibe of the series, the menacing tone… to cast a wider net and draw in those young fishys. So the movie targets a young audience, without emphasizing with the fact that they probably don’t know who is who or what is what. Obviously that means the grown ups among us won’t be satisfied either. For example the future war intro sequence looks like something from a poor man’s X-Men movie, not the blighted holocaust we remember from the Cameron-sphere. They’ve basically screwed everyone in what is a huge marketing scam.
And the film does indeed look cheap, with particularly awful CGI, and I’m not just talking about Schwarzenegger’s younger T-800. Later in the movie you can clearly see Schwarzenegger’s face superimposed onto the head of someone, perhaps a double, with effects that look like something from a YouTube parody video. There’s also the usual signature amateur hour action trope, the kind of shit you’ll see in a Paul W.S. Anderson movie. I mean, when the T-1000 in this movie forms its hand into a blade, there those cheap, cringey ‘blade’ noises to highlight how kewl it is, you can probably tell what I’m getting at there. Think that sounds cringey? Getting vibes of the stuff you disliked about the previous two movies? How about a ‘comedy’ mugshot scene where Schwarzenegger is at the cop station, with the Cops theme playing in the background? Yeah folks, utter despair are the words we’re looking for here.
I’d also like to voice my displeasure at the casting of this movie. Jason Clarke is a terrible John Connor. He does not look like he’s been through a war as the leader of humanity, instead he looks soft, like someone from human resources in an office block. The same goes for Emilia Clarke, who does not look like the ‘mother of the future’ in any form. Too soft, too cute. You feel like someone should be protecting her and keeping an eye on her, light years removed from Linda Hamilton’s badass SWAT momma. Jai Courtney’s Kyle Reese, who obviously came upon a stash of steroids that Michael Biehn somehow missed in 2029, is wooden at best, insulting at worst. Finally, I feel embarrassed for Arnold Schwarzenegger. This is not how he was supposed to round out his career… in desperation, he has trampled on his own iconography.
A cynical, tragic cash grab where Terminators don’t Terminate and memories are shat on.
CyrusTheVirus85
June 28, 2015 at 4:28 pm
Why Arnold?
Why?
jim
June 28, 2015 at 5:30 pm
Oh well…I was hoping for the best but expecting the worst. ..I’m sure they’re going to fuck up Conan as well. Arnie really is a whore,isn’t he? No integrity at all. No respect. The man’s a cunt.
Gene Lariviere
June 28, 2015 at 6:47 pm
Still seeing it. People trashed the other two movies which i liked. The last one didn’t have Arnold. This does. I like any movie minus Conan with him in it. Even Junior was an okay movie. Something i wouldn’t see again but okay. So..yeah, still seeing it.
Mucho Macho
June 28, 2015 at 7:23 pm
1984 Terminator
2015 Terminator
Mucho Macho
June 28, 2015 at 7:24 pm
Terminator: Fuckigys
Mucho Macho
June 28, 2015 at 7:25 pm
Well
Congrats McG!
Now you have not directed the worst Terminator movie
Jay Beezy
June 28, 2015 at 7:42 pm
Knight Rider I believe liked Salvation over T3. Or simply thought it was the lesser of two evils.
Or is this your opinion that Salvation was the worst pre-Genisys?
Mucho Macho
June 28, 2015 at 8:22 pm
I love both T1-T2 like crazy.
Now..we got 2 sequels after that, that split fans of the series. I don’t hate T3 like Night does. I mentioned it b4. the few sequences that I appreciate it, like the car chase scene that Arnold actually paid for himself. What i didn’t like was the portrayal of John Connor as this weak junkie pussy mama’s boy.
Stan Winton’s work on the movie was good & i gave Terminator 3 like a B. Some of the humor falls flat but i dont hate it.
“Salvation” had its moments, some good ideas, i actually wished they kept with the apocalipse setting. we have already seen “The trying to prevent the future from happening” before too many times in the series.
I thought it was the right direction to take but it was not as good as they could’ve made it.
I have ’em all on my collection.
I’m just bored venting on a sunday afternoon..hahaha
But “Genisys” to me has always given me that “die hard 5” vibe.
I’ll watch it. & if i like it better than i though i’ll say it.
But judging from what I’ve seen, I don’t know ,I’m going to give it a go,
but I’m taking my Vaseline with me😨
Jay Beezy
June 28, 2015 at 8:32 pm
I got a kick out of Arnie’s “I’m back” line when I first saw it. And I thought it was a ballsy move to go with the Debbie Downer Judgment Day ending considering it was supposed to be another summer blockbuster.
Still, obviously T3 just rehashed T2. It’s pretty clear the creative team now doesn’t have the creative prowess to get back to its former glory.
Mucho Macho
June 28, 2015 at 9:11 pm
Yeah..the ending was ballsy in that regard. The score was good too.
I personally would’ve liked the series to end after T2 but..it is what it is.
Hollywood people for all their “communist, anti-capitalist, anti-business,socialist” crap sure milk everything for all it’s worth.
Mucho Macho
June 28, 2015 at 7:34 pm
I already have plans to go with a few friends..but i’m thinkin about coming down with the flu.
My childhood is gonna get raped this year.
-First Terminator 5
-Next Rocky 7, AKA Rocky in Da Hood ,”Creed”
*I want people to stop telling me:” well Michael B. Jordan was great in the masterpiece “Fruitvale station”, blah, blah, blah..Like that movie is The Fucking Godfather!
Bunch of whiny white people who would never , ever , get near a black person outside of a Starbucks acting like they are holly & 1 is a racist cause 1 says that movie or movies like such are not good.
Fuck this!!
I’m pissed today..
Mucho Macho
June 28, 2015 at 7:38 pm
Thanks
Mucho Macho
June 28, 2015 at 7:51 pm
Real Terminator Fans
Don’t forget taking this to the cinema with you⤵
Jay Beezy
June 28, 2015 at 8:37 pm
Why do we need Vaseline? I don’t think we have anything to jerk off to here. They cast Emilia Clarke instead of Alexandra Daddario as Sarah Connor.
Mucho Macho
June 28, 2015 at 9:24 pm
1) I still rub 1 to Emilia Clarke.
2)Vaseline also serves as a lubricant.
I just came up with the quickest butt hole joke at the moment.
Sorry if it was lame..i offer no guarantees..lol
Here’s a better example then:
Terminator Fans get ready⤵
Jay Beezy
June 28, 2015 at 9:46 pm
I know Vaseline serves as a lubricant. I just find it pointless to bring some if I have nothing to jerk off to. Which is the case here since Alexandra Daddario is leagues ahead of Emilia Clarke in terms of everything.
Clarke has a cute face, but she does very little with it. She lacks that Sarah Connor determination and conviction. Daddario demonstrated more shades of that conviction and determination in San Andreas. So even though every replacement would pale compared to Linda Hamilton, Daddario would be the lesser of two evils by a large margin in every way: physicality, acting ability, determination, sex appeal (if we count that as a valid trait), etc. Clarke just has an edge of being on a popular TV show.
Mucho Macho
June 28, 2015 at 10:12 pm
I meant as we were getting fucked by the makers of the movie.
Anyways, Daddario is super hot, we establish that. I think the cast of this movie fails in comparison to the original.
Michael Biehn even though not as big physically, he had a “i will kill you or die trying “roughness to him that match well against Arnold’s cyborg. I keep sayin Jai Courtney must have pictures of somebody in hollywood. There are plenty of roughneck lookin actors out there, but Hollywood doesnt like to make stars out of those people anymore.
Linda Hamilton had a great arch in the first 1.
Lots of actors today don’t have the qualities of those of yesteryear.
Actors today seemed to lack an Edge
Jay Beezy
June 28, 2015 at 10:23 pm
Sorry, I usually think of myself on the giving end of the fucking, not receiving.
Mucho Macho
June 28, 2015 at 11:21 pm
U take things to literally my friend
A joke is just that..even if they are as lame as mine✌
Jay Beezy
June 28, 2015 at 11:25 pm
I knew you were joking. I just interpreted it the wrong way, the giving end instead of the receiving end.
Mucho Macho
June 29, 2015 at 12:20 am
Lol
Btw..u liked “Salvation”?
I thought the series sucked too
Jay Beezy
June 29, 2015 at 12:26 am
I didn’t care for it.
I think I recall Night saying Salvation was less bad than T3 due to the latter’s campy tone.
I’ve lost interest in the franchise. On top of that, I have a tolerance limit when it comes to time paradoxes and Genisys clearly looks to be pushing it.
Mucho Macho
June 29, 2015 at 12:57 am
Nancy Allen when asked about the direction the “RoboCop” franchise took after part 2 , you know part 3, cartoons, kids toys, the remake, etc. She said : ” ..The more you try to bastardize something, the brighter the light that shines on how wonderful the original piece is”
Officer Lewis is a smart cookie
The Night Rider
June 28, 2015 at 9:32 pm
That article you wrote on her is still the most commented on on this site AFAIK.
Jay Beezy
June 28, 2015 at 9:36 pm
What needs to be said? That woman is a goddess amongst mortal men.
On the flip side, a good portion of those comments were devoted to calling out a Femi-Nazi who had chosen to stay anonymous.
Mucho Macho
June 28, 2015 at 7:57 pm
Btw..The thugs on that clip look nothing like the originals
Jay Beezy
June 28, 2015 at 8:26 pm
Someone suggests they’re supposed to look different because the timeline has been altered. But my gripe with it is that they look like they jumped out of the gay porn version or the Asylum knockoff of The Terminator.
Mucho Macho
June 28, 2015 at 9:06 pm
Straight out of a 80’s Culture Club Music video gang!
Dustin Scarsdale
June 29, 2015 at 8:47 pm
lazy on the new movie….they could got the hair right at least
fail
Mucho Macho
June 29, 2015 at 9:39 pm
Right!
Not even a Paxton cameo..
Fail
TheOldMcClane
June 28, 2015 at 9:05 pm
Sad to see Arnold slumming it like Willis and others.
POWERSBOOTHE77
June 28, 2015 at 10:12 pm
What the FUCK is schwarzenegger doing on facebook?
Mucho Macho
June 28, 2015 at 11:23 pm
Lord knows at this point
Barney Ross
June 29, 2015 at 6:24 pm
Schwarzenegger is better than this PG13 trash. I want CONAN 3 and another PREDATOR, R RATED or stop making movies Arnold.
Steve Ward
June 28, 2015 at 11:28 pm
T3 looks like a fuhking masterpiece now.
Jay Beezy
June 29, 2015 at 12:26 am
Also, what are this PG-13 shitfest’s levels of Throwminating?
CyrusTheVirus85
June 29, 2015 at 2:28 pm
There’s less throwminating than in the script. They must have realized. Now instead it’s aiming and missing. E.g. a T-800 repeatedly tries to stab Courtney but misses. In the script it just threw him around like it was having fun. But the bottom result is still the same… few get hurt and none get killed. Also the T-1000 is killed within 10 minutes of showing up.
Jay Beezy
June 29, 2015 at 2:49 pm
You’re talking about in the shop where he’s putting on the shoes and the T-1000 stabs him through the booth with both arms and misses, right?
This notion of this being the real sequel to T2 is clearly bogus. A real sequel should have been set after T2, not overwrite the events of it.
Steve Ward
June 29, 2015 at 2:33 am
Pretty much agree.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-SKpCiPyLM
The Night Rider
June 29, 2015 at 11:47 pm
Yup. X2.
Jeff
June 29, 2015 at 3:19 am
And it’s over two hours long? As Jeff Goldblum once said, “That’s a big pile of shit.”
Thanks for letting us know exactly how bad it is. I hope it bombs so fucking hard the producers crawl into a hole and never come back out.
CyrusTheVirus85
June 29, 2015 at 11:38 am
lol at the fanboy rage this review is causing. How dare you critisize a movie we haven’t seen?! HOW DARE YOU
WitWolfy
June 30, 2015 at 10:06 am
That made me lol
Andymovieman
June 29, 2015 at 1:26 pm
I’m looking forward to this movie despite all the negative reviews. And yes I’m a little pissed that they made it Pg13 like they did with die hard 4 and terminator 4 but the fact is arnold did some pg13 movies in his time like last action hero, the 6th day, etc. Do I think it’ll be better? hopefully as good as t1 and T2, but we’ll see what happens. Arnold needs to do better movies for his fans and if legend of Conan is hard r and directed by Paul Verhoeven or Mel Gibson then I will see that too.
Barney Ross
June 29, 2015 at 4:53 pm
SUPERB REVIEW! This fucking trash needs to flop badly!!
EVERYONE BOYCOTT THIS PG13 GARBAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jacob Phillips
June 29, 2015 at 4:58 pm
Thanks for the heads up, Night.
Barney Ross
June 29, 2015 at 4:59 pm
THE WORST TERMINATOR MOVIE, FACT.
Fuck Norris
June 29, 2015 at 5:40 pm
I wasnt going to see it anyway but this just seals it
The Fucker
June 29, 2015 at 6:25 pm
LMAO fail, nobody wanted a pg-13 Terminator flick. Bingo! Flop!
Goro
June 29, 2015 at 7:40 pm
Arnold is done for me….especially after supporting LGBT and changing his profile picture. Once the greatest manly man – now is perverse sellout. Reminds me that it matters how you finish and not so much how you do along the way.
Barney Ross
June 29, 2015 at 9:19 pm
Arnold needs to apologize to all true Terminator fans ans also his true fans (not the ass kissers who eat any shit he’s cooking) for this fucking PG13 Trash!!!
Jacob Phillips
June 30, 2015 at 9:29 am
Why does Arnold go after the original T-800 with a shotgun? He must’ve know that would be fuck all use. How long did they have to plan that operation? If he’d taken an elephant gun he could’ve blown the bastard’s head clean off.
The Night Rider
June 30, 2015 at 2:23 pm
Actually now that you mention it, why not capture it and remove the chip? They have 15 years to plan it. If Connor can capture Uncle Bob and reprogramme his chip in the middle of a shitstorm battle, surely a T-800 can do the same on a quiet LA street with 15 years worth of planning. Then they could use two Terminators.
Jay Beezy
July 2, 2015 at 1:38 am
Early opening day estimates have this at just a measly 9-10 million.
Going back to my comments on Alexandra Daddario, it’s good she isn’t Sarah Connor here as this as even though she’d have softened the blow, it wouldn’t have been enough and she’d have sullied her Manly Movie Babe status which I’d have hated to see.
Bob Jr.
July 5, 2015 at 11:47 am
ManlyMovie.com: The Unofficial Gay Porn website. lol
Walter S.A. Iego
July 6, 2015 at 10:50 am
Good review.
plutoniumBYaccident
July 11, 2015 at 6:26 pm
Holy Shit. I finally found a reviewer that tells it like it is. Unless this whole post is sarcasm or tongue in cheek, my hat is off to you. I never saw T3, but saw salvation unintentionally at a friend’s house. That will be the only way I’ll watch genisys. Some reboots work, such as the new Godzilla, or Carpenter’s the Thing. But I’m glad to know this is another bad news bears. Watered down , shiny and mom approved.
Andymovieman
July 17, 2015 at 10:15 pm
It was a great movie despite what you idiots at manly movie and infinity think about the film. This was the first time Arnold’s character survived in a terminator movie since the last 3 he died in. The film got me interested and even though they managed to slip a twist ending begging for a sequel, I still enjoyed it. Arnold was good as the old guardian terminator and as the 1984 terminator he played in the first one. Byung hun lee was a great t1000 second best to Robert Patrick’s version in T2.