Five Movies That Need ‘Requels’

After this week’s talk about a possible ‘requel’ for Terminator 2: Judgement Day over at TheTerminatorFans, it got me wondering what other movies need this treatment.  What is a ‘requel’? It is a second attempt at a sequel to a good movie, because the first attempt sucked.  A good example is the upcoming Alien3 ‘requel’, that’s an interesting one.  But which other movies are there?

Beverly Hills Cop III

I don’t actually remember seeing this at the cinema.  But I remember when it came to VHS.  There was anticipation in school for this and two other things I remember distinctly at the time, The SEGA Saturn and Sony Playstation.  The hype was high for this movie simply because of its predecessors.  At first it was kind of cool, because it had and has a cool intro – the slaughter at the workshop scene. But then it hit the skids.  I gotta admit, I don’t hate the movie as much as I used to, but this thing is still an unsightly blemish.

That fucking theme park, man, and the name Ellis DeWald, a name I don’t want to hear ever again. Who thought this stuff was a good idea?  They also cut back on Rosewood and Taggart disappeared completely.  A cameo by original neckbeard George Lucas did not help things.  It did, however, have the Annihilator 2000!

RoboCop 3

This is actually the first PG-13, whore-out, cash-in sequel of movies like this.  At least to my knowledge.  There’s practically nothing of redeeming value here.  They ruined RoboCop, they ruined ED-209 and, well, everything after this got progressively worse.  Anyone remember those Prime Directive TV movies?  Fuck man, I know we hate the RoboCop reboot, but just think for a minute how ugly those were too.

So what we could really use is RoboCop 3.  You wouldn’t even have to acknowledge the second movie (I guess).  Just give us a damn sequel.  I guarantee if you find a good director, the only thing that’ll be needed to sell the movie is to bring back the original suit.  That’ll send people wild.  That, and ED-209.  And have him say eat lead motherfuckers! this time, not eat lead, suckers.

Mad Max 3

Highly unlikely, this one.  Since George Miller has already successfully rebooted the franchise.  But at one time, this was a stronger possibility.  Back in 2002, actually, when Fury Road was going to star Mel Gibson and be somewhat different to the one we have now.

But really, Thunderdome is an unworthy follow up.  You follow up the gas-soaked masterpiece of Mad Max 2 with that pissy stupid shit with those annoying kids?  What a fucking come down!  And directed by someone who looked like he was trying to film some heavily rehearsed school play.  They also took away the guzzaline, another cardinal error.  It’s just not the movie it should’ve been.

Speed 2

Speed is as good now as it ever was.  But what in the name of fuck were they thinking with that sequel?  A bus being channelled on a linear trajectory, at speed, with a bomb strapped to it.  Great idea for an action movie.  A cruise liner at sea?  You could go and fry a steak before it actually collides with something.  This is an all round bad sequel and it robbed us of a much desired third movie. For now at least.

But don’t worry, this site has it covered with a good idea for Speed 3.  But they better not use it, without paying yours truly many millions of dollars.  But anyway, bring back Jack Traven.

Batman Forever

Of course, back in the day, comic book movies were better than they are now.  Too kitsch, too loud and vacuous now.  I have great, great love for Tim Burton’s dark and moody Batman movies. And I don’t know if I’m in a minority or not, but I think ‘Returns’ is even better than Batman 1989.  Returns is also my favourite comic book movie ever. Anyway, we were supposed to get a third movie from Burton, allegedly featuring Robin Williams as The Riddler.

That would’ve been terrific and I despair that we got ‘Forever’ in its place.  As far as I know, soccer moms and executive bean counters, with McDonalds, torpedoed Burton for a third movie, with Keaton leaving soon after.  In the end we got this day-glo shit, the camp Batman, the beginning of the end.  I just think to myself, how awesome would it have been if Tim Burton had a third movie and one of the villains was, say, Killer Croc?

Others?

So there are five movies that probably deserve ‘requels’ to kickstart the discussion.  Others?  I would think apart from the obvious (Terminator 3 already mentioned), we’re already getting ‘The Predator’.  But other honourable mentions, in other words bad sequels; Jaws 2, Tremors 2…?  Such wastes, man.