The New King Arthur Is A Girlie Man

The new King Arthur looks like total shit.

Or, if I might say, girlie-man shit.  Isn’t King Arthur historically recognized as a mythical figure who is impossibly manly?  Then, what the fuck is going on with Guy Ritchie’s new movie?  I mean, Charlie Hunnam isn’t really the problem, rather the production and direction of this movie is.

Arthur looks like a bitch.  He looks like he’s getting ready to film a metrosexual Hugo Boss advert.  Were men in ye old days manicured and effete?

What the fuck is this bullshit?!

And don’t get me started on David Beckham.  I don’t think I hate anyone in life, but David Beckham could probably win me around with minimal effort.  Consult the YouTube comments on his appearance in the shampoo commercial movie;

“Beckham sounds like a 12yr old kid. Like his balls havent dropped and his voice never broke.”

“I found David Beckham as about as menacing as a carrot in this clip. He stands then then he started talking with that voice and I was just expecting someone to jump out and say ha ha this was all a joke.”

When was the last time Guy Ritchie made a good movie?  Was it Snatch?  No, really, was it?  Here is what heroes of the time probably looked like, Ritchie…