Review: “Skyscraper” (2018)

30 years ago in the summer of 1988 on this very day actually , The Manly-Biblical -Epic-Masterful-Brilliant-Opus “Die Hard” was released. As a young boy in the cinema I was mesmerized by what I was watching on screen. I knew along with everybody else in that theater that we were watching something special. 30 years ago as a kid I had a life-changing experience in a cinema watching “Die Hard”, fast forward 30 years and as an adult I’m watching a “Die-Hard-Wannabe” in a cinema having a not so memorable experience. Damn it!

Many discussions have been had on this site about Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Mostly about the career choices he has made and the movies he has put out. “How come he doesn’t make more R-rated action movies?” “Are the movies he makes good & or manly?” “Is he on the same league as Arnold or Stallone?” etc. All valid questions from serious action movie aficionados.

I think the reason I’m not disappointed with him it’s because I never thought he was going to reach the heights of greatness of Stallone or Arnold. I think perhaps a major reason for this is because of the times that we live in and the fact that our beloved action heroes from the 80s and 90s brought something to the manly table that their soy-boy critics never understood. Daniel Day-Lewis obviously is a much better actor than Chuck Norris but Day-Lewis could never kick as much ass & for example bring down a cartel like our beloved Chuck did in “Delta Force 2”. These were not only movies but also instructional films on how to become a man.

 

I am a fan of professional wrestling/ sports entertainment, I do believe that The Rock was truly one of the greatest trash talkers of all time. I believe him to be a Mount Rushmore Performer on the mic & a much better heel ( Bad Guy)  than a Baby- Face” (Good Guy) even though he grew in popularity as a Baby-Face. His fame and success is well earned however cause if you follow him on Instagram you know the mothafuka works like crazy.

His latest effort is “Skyscraper” and it’s a cross between “Die Hard” and  “Towering Inferno”. Here Rock plays an FBI Hostage Rescue Team leader and U.S. war veteran Will Ford who after a rescue mission goes to shit loses a leg and years later becomes a security advisor for skyscrapers. He’s working on assignment in China in a building called “The Pearl” which is the tallest CGI building in the world. So long story short, so-called terrorists take over the building, set it on fire, The Rock is blamed for the fiasco and he’s in a race against time to save his family whom are trapped inside the burning building.

The movie is not original, it borrows from films such as “Die Hard”,”Towering Inferno” & “Mission Impossible”. It’s a movie not to be taken seriously and if taken for what it is and I did, it’s not great but it’s entertaining enough to pass the time with.

As I’ve often mentioned, the roles of villains are underrated in these type of films, not only at times by audiences but by filmmakers as well unfortunately. Films like these could go up in “fun points” by having actors who are Masters in the art of trolling. Trolling genius Nicolas Cage is trolling in VOD low-budget flicks & somebody like him would have been much needed to bring some much needed charisma to completely forgettable bad guy parts played by generic bland performers. The biggest crime this movie committed in this department was having Pablo Schreiber who had the best showdown with The Rock in this movie in a short throw away role after kicking ass in “Den of Thieves”. He needs a better agent cause the kid is talented. Bad guys and the actors that bring them to life make these movies better. So instead of this bullshit femi-nazi propaganda about paying little known actresses the same as much well-established male stars, I say pay trolling masters more money cause they will make your movies better.

Question: Would Van Damme’s “Sudden Death” be the same without Manly Legend Powers Boothe as the bad guy?

Answer: Hell No!

This it’s not the Rock’s best movie nor his worst. If you don’t take it seriously then chances are you’ll be entertained by it despite all it’s flaws.  I don’t feel this is a film you have to rush to the cinema and watch but it’s not a movie you should completely avoid either down the road if you’re looking to kill some time with.

BTW, PM Entertainment’s “Skyscraper” from 1996…I have not forgotten you. R.I.P. Anna Nicole Smith A.K.A. Jane McClane who bravely fought terrorist and showed us her big boobs.

The Rock’s  “Skyscraper” is a  5/10. It ain’t “Faster” but at least it’s not “The Tooth Fairy”.