UPDATED: Creepy Feminist Commissars On Bond Set

UPDATED:  Maybe some of us thought (or hoped) this was a joke.  Gotta invoke Poe’s Law by the hour these days.  Turns out it is not.

According to the Sun Bond 25 producers hired the consultants to ensure that the stars – including new Bond girl Ana De Armas – feel empowered. A ‘film insider’ explained that the move was part of an effort to get #MeToo compliant.

‘Producer Barbara Broccoli and her team are going all out to bring Bond up to speed. It’s all changed in the #MeToo era and they’re going to extra lengths to make sure all the stars are getting the support they need on set, including during some of the more risqué sex scenes,’ the insider said.

Who should we consult on this new and divisive issue?  I can think of no better than Jessica Fletcher herself:

“There are two sides to this coin,” she said. “We have to own up to the fact that women, since time immemorial, have gone out of their way to make themselves attractive. And unfortunately it has backfired on us – and this is where we are today.”

That is what Angela Lansbury said about ongoing ‘MeToo’ issues. Until of course her phone rang off the hook demanding she clarify (read: apologize).

PREVIOUSLY: The days of James Bond being a sexist, misogynistic dinosaur are over.  According to The Daily Mail, Fleabag (whatever the hell that is) star Phoebe Waller-Bridge is being drafted in by producers to meet Daniel Craig and work on the new film script.

James Bond is to be given a comprehensive makeover for the MeToo era by Fleabag, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.

Phoebe Waller-Bridge, creator and star of the acclaimed BBC comedy and also the writer of Killing Eve, has been drafted in by Bond producers for the latest film in the series.

She flew to New York earlier this year to meet 007 star Daniel Craig before agreeing to work on the script for the 25th Bond.

How embarrassing.  Why is this character undergoing a political curation?  This is a movie, entertainment.  I’m surprised they didn’t have Craig fly out to meet her.

The article continues:

The 007 number has been taken up by a new agent – a woman – who embarks on a mission which forces Bond to come out of retirement.

Despite Bond’s legendary reputation as a womaniser, the new 007 manages to resist his charms.

So they’re slipping a female Bond in via the backdoor.  The article even says:

 it is all about female empowerment.

‘This will be a very modern Bond for the MeToo era

Repeat after me… get woke… go…