A NEW SCOURGE ON YOUTUBE: FAKE ‘FIRST REACTIONS’

The worst thing to ever hit the internet, ‘reaction videos’.  Why the fuck would I want to see someone else’s reaction, real-time, to something I’ve already watched myself.  Especially when it’s a grown man crying over Star Wars.

It gets worse though.

A new scourge is poisoning YouTube.  Even though I have been permanently banned from YouTube (meaning they won’t even let me create one of those new sub-accounts), their recommendation feature still recognizes my IP, or something, and really insists that I watch certain videos if I’ve watched one.

‘First time viewing’ reaction videos are all over the place.

Most of them are fake, being watched by narcissists who have already seen the movie.  A recent one was Predator, where I watched two nu-male neckbeards watch the film for the ‘first time’, but were dumb enough to drop ‘I don’t remember this’ remarks.  This is happening a lot for classic films.  RoboCop, Aliens, all getting a ‘first viewing’.

YouTube will pay its uploaders $1 for every 1,000 views.  So, simply take a movie that’s popular enough to propel itself up through the search algorithms, watch it, record yourself faking reactions then hope to profit.

Mind you, some of these ‘first time viewers’ look like true soy boy girlie men and may not have seen said manly movies before.  Who knows, maybe they were banned at the local campus or elevated soy levels had them watching re-runs of ‘Friends’.  Maybe trigger warnings are necessary, but don’t laugh, that’s actually becoming a reality.

At any rate, you’ve seen ‘Insert Movie’ before, stop fucking lying!