The Four Things Beverly Hills Cop IV Needs

We are in very, very oldschool territory here.  That very rare and ’80s/’90s type of mood is back upon us – the eve of a new Beverly Hills Cop production.  A real movie with a real release date, not some shitty TV show or Crocodile Dundee crossover.  Maybe the fact that it didn’t come in the ’00s is a blessing, lessons have been learned, hopefully, with the likes of DHINO, by the makers of this movie.  But if they are to get it right, especially now that Brett Ratner is directing, there are some important prerequisites…

4) Bring Back The Original Score

They really need to learn a lesson that some big actors and producers have recently forgotten about or just plain ignored – people will expect a certain tone from this movie.  Starting with one of the most famous things about it, the score.  And not just the Axel F theme.  They need to get Harold Faltermeyer back.  Kevin Smith was able to get him to return to scoring for ‘Cop Out’, so surely Bruckheimer can persuade him to do this.  In Beverly Hills Cop III, you probably remember the score was pretty shit next to the first two movies.  Simple explanation there, no Harold Faltermeyer.

3) Let Eddie Murphy Be Eddie Murphy

This one is a long, long time coming.  No more talking gerbils or talking goats.  It’s time for Eddie Murphy to once again return to Axel Foley and Reggie Hammond territory.  He does that best when he’s allowed to do his own thing.  He’s friends with Bruckheimer and Ratner, and has stated he’ll only do another movie under certain conditions, so I’m hopeful we’ll see a return of the real Foley.  We need a foul mouthed wise ass doing what he does best.  And not some phoning-it-in job like Bruce Willis’ recent performances as John McClane.  Come to think of it, I’ve always said that Eddie Murphy should’ve been at the front of the cue for an Expendables role.  You wanted action comedy, Stallone?  The answer was staring you in the face.  Maybe Stallone is still sore over turning this franchise down?

2) Bring Back The Original Cast

The title role obviously belongs to Eddie Murphy.  But a bit like the Lethal Weapon series, there’s a ‘gang’ that goes along with Beverly Hills Cop.  Obviously, firstly, there’s Rosewood and Taggart, played by Judge Reinhold and John Ashton.  At the very least, both of these two are needed.  Too old, you say?  Ashton is younger than Stallone!  But don’t stop there.  Get Ronny Cox out of retirement for Cpt Bogomil and Paul Reiser back as Friedman.  Finally, Bronson Pinchot really has to return as Serge, it just probably wouldn’t feel right otherwise.  Probably most importantly, please, no fucking ‘young newbs’.  No Foley Junior, no hip young tech-savvy partner.  OLD CAST, NOBODY ELSE.  Oh, one more thing: Give Gilbert Gottfried a call, who played Sidney Bernstein.

1) Rated-R

People are already really worried about this.  But there are a couple of things that might suggest it’ll be as it should.  Bruckheimer left Disney over an unceremonious disagreement on PG/family movies.  That’s why he headed to Paramount and this is his first movie on return.  Secondly, Eddie said last October that he is done with cashing in and making shit movies.  We also hope that lessons have been learned on this issue, Fox learned the hard with with Die Hard 4.0.  Remember, as bad as it was, even the third movie was Rated-R. Please, Paramount.  Do what’s right here.  We’ve been sold down the river by Lerner and Stallone.  Help us Jerry and Eddie, you’re our last hope.