How Arnold Can Fix His Career

Contrary to what some people might think, this site does not simply shit on Arnold Schwarzenegger for the hell of it.  Rather, his recent career choices and how he went about promoting them. That does not mean Arnold is not a big deal to me and that I don’t want to see him at his best.  I would really like Arnold Schwarzenegger to have an explosive renaissance in the same way that Sylvester Stallone did in the late 2000s.

Please, Arnold.  Make the right choices.  Here are some suggestions.

No To More Terminator.

In case you have not noticed it, I did not like Terminator: Genisys.  In fact I fucking hated it.  Oh, and for those simpletons who said that I only shit on it because it was PG-13, I already told you, Terminator 3 sucked too – and it was Rated R!  So the lesson is clear here, or at least it should be. the Terminator’s goose is cooked and returning to it is not a good idea.  Paramount will hire a yes-man and he’ll come in and shoot some shit like a bad episode of The Outer Limits (remember that show?!) and Arnold will probably just do his best to sell it, regardless.

Yes To More Conan

Just to show that this is not entirely ‘negative’, let’s put more emphasis on Conan.  Conan, the Arnold version at least, is relatively unspoiled ground.  We had one classic movie, one meh movie and no more, in a sense we can be thankful that sequel after sequel wasn’t pumped out with some NFL jock filling in.  The legacy is still fertile and Arnold can make one good or even great movie out of this series yet.  Too old?  Not with the subject matter,  King Conan isn’t meant to be a young guy.  So Arnold, if he isn’t already, should not settle for pursuing this movie 100%, we want 200%! More Conan.  Tits and dragons!

No To More Expendables

Similar to the Terminator series, I’m afraid the soup for this one has been pissed in.  Let’s not kid ourselves.  Sylvester Stallone threw a party, cool people turned up.  It was a great idea and it came at just the right time.  But Sly blew it.  He got drunk, knocked over the BBQ, groped people’s wives and fell into the pool.  It’s over.  So I would advise Arnold to avoid this series like the plague unless there is a drastic departure and they do something like give him his own movie, with his own crew, with death, destruction and Gary Busey.  But at the moment, Schwarzenegger’s career is sullied and he could do without Stallone’s weirdo circus humour action making it even worse.

Yes To Jim Cameron

This is just a long shot, but I think it would do the world of good for Schwarzenegger.  Seek Cameron, beg if necessary.  For what role, I do not know.  But something I think could be quite awesome would be a villainous role in one of those Avatar movies.  Ever see Stephen Lang in Avatar?  I think Schwarzenegger could do something like that, only better.  Now some people might say those are not manly movies, so what is the difference between using one as leverage versus using ‘Genisys’ as leverage?  Isn’t the answer obvious?  Genisys was going to suck, it bombed accordingly too. Not gonna happen with Cameron.

No More Experiments

With Maggie, it looked like Schwarzenegger was trying to ‘experiment’ to appease his mainstream haters.  Not a good idea.  By this stage in your career, you should know that a breakthrough as a thespian is off the cards and if people like Al Pacino are showing up in VODmit movies, your options are going to be narrow too.  Arnold is getting old, so he needs to avoid trying to come out of left field with indy crap.  Time is running out for his bombastic finale, he needs to stick to the basics and rally his fans – his real fans, not cult freaktards who insist that every shitty movie he makes is a work of art.  Once again, stick to the basics!

Yes To Shane Black

Shane Black gave us all what we wanted recently, news that he was going to make another Predator movie.  A sequel even, apparently about a single Predator.  Well y’see, this is what we’re talking about, the kind of career-righting movie Arnold needs to make.  Schwarzenegger is apparently in talks for the movie.  Well I say fuck talks!  Kick down Black’s door, beg if necessary.  Adrien Brody apparently moved heaven and earth to get the role in ‘Predators’, Schwarzenegger should be doing the same thing.  I only say this in confidence that Shane Black will effectively sell the age issue and make it go away.  Arnold needs The Predator, he needs it to say look guys, remember when I wasn’t the butt of all the jokes?