REVIEW: Green Room (2016) Blu-Ray

I gotta admit, if Picard (he shall be called nothing else but Picard on this site) is in something, I’m probably going to watch it.  He’s an alpha male.  Take for instance those X-Men movies, you have Hugh Jackman built like a tank after a strong cycle of steroids (ever notice that Stallone and Schwarzenegger took shit back in the day for needling, but Jackman and Hemsworth don’t get a nod?) whereas Picard is not only in normal shape, he’s in a wheelchair.  But there’s no doubt who the manly man is and who the girlie man is, no hiding it.  Picard is the type to confront abusive slobs who think they own the place.  So then, it’s cool to see Picard in a new movie, a thriller at that.  And a playing a baddie.

The story follows Anton Yelchin and his band of punk rockers who are not getting the best of gigs. They take a job at a backwoods venue populated by Neo Nazis.  Reluctantly they do their routine but happen to witness a corpse backstage.  At this stage, the skinheads do not know what to do with the group, but they decide that one thing is for sure, they’d better not let them leave.  Keep them here until the boss shows up – Picard!  Picard runs the venue, you see, and he’s a National Socialist too (when he’s not running a lucrative narcotics op).  His orders are to dispose of the pests (witnesses), but in the chaos, Yelchin and his band manage to lock themselves in the ‘Green Room’ and a stand off ensues.

The film calls on movies like ‘Panic Room’, where claustrophobia and menace are the order of the day.  To make sure you don’t get comfortable, bellies are slit open with boxcutters with guts spilling onto the floor.  It does have problems, they’re in the room, then out, then back in, the out.  The writer is often quite unsure of what to do with the premise beyond the ‘blocked in’ stage.  I would also have liked more Picard, he’s curiously absent a lot of the time.  Not in an extended cameo kind of way, but there’s not much to his character.  I was quietly hoping to see Picard beat the living shit out of someone in a shaking rage, but it wasn’t to be so. Some of the skinheads also seem remarkably effete, such as the ‘enforcer’ sent after the musicians near the end, I couldn’t believe how badly cast he was. However I feel the movie is good for one watch though, it’s also the type your girlfriend will probably dig.

This isn’t the best Blu-Ray ever.  The picture is good in that once again we’ve reached quality peak and most things don’t stand out poorly or impressively these days.  Have our eyes adjusted on the eve of 4k?  I think so.  Obsessive videophiles might find problems with it, but to me it’s fine, especially since this is a dark movie yet not missing any clarity in the dark corners of the rooms. Extras are thin though, there is the director’s commentary and a worthless ‘documentary’ that lasts ten minutes and would probably bore even a typical YouTuber quite quickly.  So in the end, this movie is only recommended if you know what you’re into and looking for, now that you’ve researched it.