[REVIEW] Superfast! (2015) Is An Audio/Visual Atrocity

Runtime: 99 Mins
Rated: PG-13
What To Expect: Possibly the death of the parody genre

I look at the parody genre and wonder what happened.  I remember the days of the Naked Gun, Hot Shots and Loaded Weapon.  Dumb films but good parodies and effective in terms of what they were trying to achieve.  Shit, even Spy Hard might have been one of the last great trolling hurrahs, and that was a poor man’s Naked Gun.  In recent times people know too well to steer clear of the genre, thanks to serial offenders like the Wayans Brothers just being flat shit at what they’re trying to do, or schlock like Meet the Spartans.  Speaking of which, this movie is made by the same people as ‘Spartans’.

This movie mostly riffs on the original movie, with some shots at its sequels.  There really is nothing else to say about the story here.  But there is a lot to say about the humour.  It is desperately, insultingly unfunny.  There isn’t a solitary laugh, or even a grin, to be found anywhere in this schlock.  It’s actually quite fascinating, that something so foul and shockingly inept would be taken on by even the worst distributor of lowly DTV shit on earth.  How is this possible!  I demand an answer, because I suffered this audo/visual atrocity for its full duration.

Which by the way was 99 minutes.  99 minutes of hell, of writhing torture.  Why the fuck couldn’t they have shortened in down to the low 80s?  The soundtrack is terrible, the acting is worse.  Instead of hiring people capable of winking at the screen, like the boss Charlie Sheen, they hire a bunch of idiots who simply come across as annoying dickheads.  Go back to when you were 9 years old at school.  Then find the biggest idiot in the class, who never gets the joke and fails terribly at telling his own.  This is who Jason Friedberg and Alan Setzer are.  These two fuckers need to be kidnapped and disappeared.  We shall ask no question and sigh in relief.

Somebody!