5 Unfairly Lambasted Rotten Tomatoes Manly Movies
Regular Manly Movie readers know it’s been mentioned several times already on here. So what I’m saying is nothing new, but it’s something which has really gotten under my skin lately and I had to get the poison out of my system, much like the way in which Paul W.S. Anderson gets those fetid, stinking piece of shit Resident Evil movies out of his system and vomits them all over cinema screens and into the faces of his moronic fans every few years. Surprisingly low ratings for certain excellent movies on the bastion of conformity that is Rotten Tomatoes have had me scratching my head numerous times in the past and thinking “is it just me?” even before I became a regular here.
I actually used to check Rotten Tomatoes pretty frequently looking for reviews of older films I still hadn’t seen yet, or to get the drop on new releases I was interested in. I don’t bother anymore. Last time I did seriously have a look on there half the screen was taken up by an enormous ad for Sky Movies which I couldn’t fucking get rid off. Well fuck you Mr Murdoch. Like Axl Rose, I don’t watch that much TV, so you can shove your subscription television up your son’s arse until it explodes out of his face. But that’s not the only issue I have with them (Rotten Tomatoes I mean).
I know websites have to be paid for and, if the ad wasn’t so obtrusive, I could’ve forgiven them for that. The real problem is that the reviews on there are total bullshit. In this article I’ve selected a few examples that I find particularly offensive, and that is the word I use, – scores that fly in the face of common sense and condemn some great movies with piss poor ratings, to the advantage of the mass produced fucking crap shat out by the contemporary Hollywood studio factory machine. I know there are a ton of other examples on there besides these, I’ve just chosen some films I’ve actually seen and therefore can safely vouch for in the face of the unfair reviews by the geeks, ponces, fan-boys and other pseudo/fake intellectuals submitting their biased, and just plain wrong, opinions to the masses. Here are my personal top five examples of Rotten Tomatoes bullshit percentages.
5. Escape Plan (49%)
Okay, so 49% isn’t that bad, especially compared with the scores for some of the other movies I’m going to mention. That means that just under half of the reviewers liked it. But come on, seriously? That’s the first proper teaming up of the legends Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone. That’s John Matrix and John J. Rambo together in the same movie. I bet those little cunts couldn’t wait to shit all over this. I went to see this on the big screen and it was brilliant. Even my wife appreciated it, so you’d have thought it would fare better on a site which is supposed to have general appeal. But no – 49 percent. I like Escape Plan better than any of The Expendables movies. A prison setting, decent action and stellar performances from the two leads. I gather that it didn’t even get a cinematic release down under, what a fucking sacrilege.
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